Open your eyes and see by Wanangwa Chirwa
“Jacob was in love with Rachel…” Genesis 29:18
A common question that plagues the single born again person is “how do I know who the right person is? What if I miss them? What if I choose wrongly? How can I know...” on and on the questions go…truthfully, this stuff can be tricky at times. But we receive assurance from the word that when we involve the Holy Spirit in our daily engagements, we are bound to make wise decisions that bear proud fruits in the long run. “…as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God…” Let’s get to the heart of the matter though, what are some things that can help you recognise? How can you position yourself for wise decisions? Let me give you some pointers:
Live a surrendered life: someone may say “what does this have anything to do with finding the woman of my dreams or my knight and shining armour?” well, here’s the deal: when you live a surrendered life, your heart is fully given to God. He purifies your desires so that all you want is to please Him! You leave no room for carnality…your mind is renewed. Let me use plain language: people who live surrendered lives have their lenses clean so they can see clearly…you need to see clearly to recognise!
Know thyself: I always say “in your singleness know yourself, in a relationship know the other person.” You need to discover yourself! Before you can even partner with someone you have to know what you are bringing to the table. It’s simpler to know who you can partner with when you know yourself. Listen, this is vital-it means you have to know your strengths, weaknesses, purpose, personality, dreams and aspirations. It means you have to know where you are going in life: “…two cannot walk together unless they agree…” Hey, take time to know thyself!
Spark vs Chemistry: when you meet the right partner, you will experience both the spark and chemistry! Let me put it into perspective: Jacob wanted Rachel-scripture says the guy was in love after meeting Rachel…he was beyond won…but Laban ended up giving him Leah on the wedding night; Jacob had to work another 7 years just so he could marry Rachael…here’s my point: what Jacob had with Leah was mere chemistry-he learned to live with her; they were growing old together but something was missing! But with Rachel, there was a spark and when they got married, they discovered they had chemistry too…listen, a spark is what causes a husband even after being with his wife for 40 years to look her and be awe…A spark is what David experienced when he run into Abagail…it’s what Adam experienced when he opened his eyes to Eve…my point is: when you meet the right person, your whole being with produce a resounding “YES”! it may not be as Hollywood portrays it but you will know when you have arrived! You will have a spark and chemistry…Both are very essential!
Get Counsel: Share the developments with mature people you are accountable to…let them help you see well…scripture says “…in a multitude of counsellors, there’s safety…” Have people around you who know you well-God can use them to speak into your life…they can help affirm or disapprove of the moves you are making…such people are priceless.
I have to say, these pointers are not formulas but simply tools that can help one recognise a right partner. But every desire has to be judged in prayer…don’t live life on whims or mere feelings…have peace in your spirit with the decisions you make: let God judge your feelings and desires…And Jesus, the Wisdom of God, will help you make the right turns.